The minivan, the mind and the weighted blanket
Today, I almost lost my mind in my driveway.
It took 25 minutes to get my three kids out the door. My two-year-old staged a "shoes-on-my-own" protest—which I know is developmentally appropriate, but in the moment, it felt like an insurmountable obstacle. I had to wake the baby, which predictably led to a cranky infant because we had pushed past his nap window.
The breaking point? As I buckled the last child into the minivan, I hit my head on the door frame. Hard.
I’ll be honest: I may have sworn under my breath. The guilt was immediate, but the anger was louder. I felt entitled to an easier morning than the one I was having. As a therapist, I knew exactly what was happening: if I didn’t "turn the ship around" right then, the day was only going to get harder.
The Problem: Entitlement and Cognitive Distortions
In my practice, I often talk about Cognitive Distortions. This is just a clinical term for the "Lies we believe that make us miserable."
My lie this morning was a subtle form of entitlement. I believed the "Factual Reality" of my morning should look a certain way, and when it didn't, my brain defaulted to anger. Entitlement is a primary fuel for frustration. When we think we are owed ease and we get friction instead, we get stuck in a loop of resentment.
I didn't want to wait and "see if my mood improved." I needed to act. So, after dropping the kids at the YMCA, I sat in the parking lot. I didn't work out. I didn't vent. I picked up my journal and asked one question:
"What is good today?"
The Practice: Gratitude as Cognitive Stewardship
I want to be clear: I didn’t write a list of things I should be grateful for. "Should-ing" yourself into gratitude only induces more guilt and frustrates the process. Instead, I looked for what I could actually see.
I started with the Minnesota weather. It’s finally warming up, and I am genuinely grateful for that shift. As I wrote, the quality of my thoughts began to change. This is the science of gratitude: focusing on what is true and good can stop a cognitive distortion in its tracks. It’s effective (and often less complicated) than many of the standard CBT exercises I give my clients.
But as a Christian, I noticed something deeper. When I practice gratitude journaling, my prayers change. I was still praying about the same heavy things—like our family finances—but the quality of the "ask" was different.
The frustration was gone.
The undertone of anger toward myself and the situation evaporated.
There was an acknowledgment of how the Lord was already working.
The Result: The "Weighted Blanket" for the Soul
Scripture tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 to present our requests to God "with thanksgiving." We often skip over that part, but the thanksgiving is the engine. It’s the "Input Filter" from Philippians 4:8—choosing to think on what is true, lovely, and praiseworthy.
When I was praying earlier that morning, I was trying to "trust the Lord," but the anxiety was still screaming. It wasn't until I anchored myself in the Truth Reality through gratitude that the shift happened.
The result? A stillness. It felt like someone had placed a weighted blanket over my soul.
If you find yourself stuck in a loop of frustration, anger, or "minivan meltdowns," I want you to know that you are resilient, but you are also a steward of your mind. You don’t have to wait for your mood to change; you can choose to look at what is good.
I hope and pray that more of my clients adopt this practice. It’s not about "treating yourself" or indulging in toxic positivity. It’s about taking every thought captive and allowing the peace of God to stand guard over your heart.
If you’re finding it hard to distinguish the lies from the truth, or if your "Factual Reality" feels too heavy to carry alone, let’s talk. Therapy is a tool for change and a way to build the bridge between where you are and the peace God has promised.